


Clichés and Such

by fill_empty_space_here (orphan_account)



Category: South Park
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Aged-Up Character(s), Best Friends, Cliche, Comedy, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M, Technical one-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8925406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fill_empty_space_here
Summary: Stan and Kyle have been best friends for a long time. So why does Stan feel so weird right now?  Rated T for inappropriate language and suggestive themes.
  ABANDONED FIC. BASICALLY A ONE-SHOT NOW.





	

A tuft of black hair fell into Stan’s face as he tried counting the seconds that passed by where he and his best friend weren't speaking. So far, Stan had  _ 657. _ __  
__  
_ 658. _ __  
__  
_ 659. _ __  
__  
_ 660—— _   
  
A sound.   
  
_ Oh, no, that was just a cough. _   
  
Stan sighed exasperatedly, laying on the hard, cold floor of his bedroom. They were both bored, and that wasn't good. He glanced at the boy who sat on his bed, his green-hatted head hanging off the side. He held an iPhone over his head, his green eyes scanning the screen quickly.   
  
“Says here we can go to this carnival.”   
  
Stan glanced back to the ceiling above him. “Do you want to?”   
  
“I mean, you can pick between the carnival, movies, or the boring museum.”   
  
Stan paused. He was never really into going to carnivals; he became as paranoid as his dad and thought they were only there to scam him out of his money. The museum wasn't promising, since it was cheap and boring as school, and Stan, being a regular teenager, did not want school at the moment. Stan asked, “What’s playing at the movies?”   
  
“Let me see.”   
  
Another silence.   
  
Stan sighed. Normally, he and his super best friend would be talking the day away, but what did he expect now? Stan and Kyle had a big blow out the previous week, and had only apologized yesterday. Being honest, Stan invited him over for no reason.   
  
Now, there he was, awkward and bored. He had hoped nothing could stand between their friendships, but over the years, he was starting to doubt that as parents, academics, sports, and girlfriends started being wedged between the two.   
  
Kyle, well, he actually had only dated a girl once or twice, but he always ended the relationships. He didn't really seem to care either way, whether it was one of his mom’s chosen bachelorette, or that girl he met online. They complained about “never having great communication” or “never spending enough time together”, so he always broke up with them first.   
  
Stan, however, hadn't dated anyone in a long while. He had been off and on with Wendy, as expected, but just when all the romance rekindled once again, she suddenly called it off for good. He was, as always, left devastated and went through a phase where he found his life pointless and dumb. Then, he got drunk constantly and locked himself in his room for a long time; at school he was messy and careless and depressed. It took months to pick himself back up, after a few comforting hours with his Kyle.   
  
_ His Kyle? No, it’s his friend, Kyle. Friend. Emphasis on  _ **_friend_ ** _. _   
  
“Stan?”   
  
Stan snapped his attention back to the Jewish redhead, who was now sitting up in his bed.   
  
“Dude, all they're playing is some stupid chick-flick. All week!”   
  
Stan frowned. “I guess that means movies are out of the question.” He smiled, “Unless you have a secret wish for girls fawning over guys after hating them for several scenes.”   
  
Kyle rolled his eyes. He said flatly, “Ha-ha. Yet, you seem to know a lot about the plot of chick-flicks for someone who makes fun of me.”   
  
“Oh, yeah,” Stan put on his best valley-girl impression, “like, I totally loved The Notebook, and when they both died, I was in tears, so I called my boyfriend and cried on his shoulder for 8 straight minutes!”   
  
Kyle snorted, “No wonder you're the poster-child for masculinity.”   
  
“I sometimes question that myself.”   
  
And just like that, they were both grinning widely, staring at each other for a few seconds.   
  
_ More like a minute now. _   
  
Stan raised an eyebrow as Kyle continued staring at him with an expression he couldn't understand.   
  
“Um, Ky?”   
  
He waved a hand in front of the Jew’s face, hoping for a reaction.   
  
Kyle didn't even flinch.   
  
Stan grumbled under his breath, huffing out curses with a frown. Then, with a steady hand, he slapped Kyle with a loud  _ smack! _   
  
“Yo, Kyle, you okay now?”   
  
Kyle flinched, a shocked and flustered expression falling over his face. The Jew had red cheeks and wide eyes with surprise.   
  
Stan frowned, “Holy, shit dude, I must have hit you really hard. Your face is all red now!”   
  
Kyle stuttered, “N—no, S—Stan, I—I——”   
  
The raven-haired boy interrupted him, “No, I'm sorry, it's just, you didn't answer me for a few minutes. I thought you'd gone brain-dead or something.”   
  
“And you  _ slapped _ me?” his previously shock turned to something tilting towards anger.   
  
“Yeah, I mean, what was I supposed to do? Punch you?”   
  
“No, you could have shaken me or something!”   
  
“Oh, yeah,” Stan said sheepishly. “Heh, my bad.” He scratched the back of his neck and looked at his own worn out shoes.   
  
Kyle said irritatedly, “Whatever. So, I guess this leaves the carnival as our only option, right?”   
  
Stan let his hand fall back to his side, then brought it out to gesture towards his best friend. He shrugged, “Whatever you want, man.”   
  
“Aren’t you the one that invited me over, though?” Kyle had an eyebrow raised as he frowned.   
  
“Exactly why you should pick right?” he put a—hopefully—reassuring arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Now, I'll get some money from my parents and we can head out, alright?”   
  
Kyle looked away from him. “Fine.”   
  
Stan smiled, gave a pat on the younger’s shoulder, then ruffled the curly-haired one’s hat. He left with a wink—it only seemed necessary—and walked out without a word. Stan hummed happily as he made his way downstairs and to the living room, where his parents sat and watched the news. His dad watched intently as his mom was nearly asleep in her seat.   
  
Stan took a moment to ask aloud, “What’s on the news?”   
  
Silence.  _ Typical. _   
  
After a few more seconds, Randy, Stan’s father, mumbled out, “Huh? Oh, nothing.”   
  
Stan sighed. “Dad, can I, uh, have some money to go to this carnival in town with——”   
  
“Yeah, sure. Money’s in the wallet in your mom’s bag.”   
  
“Randy!” his mom exclaimed out of nowhere. “Who are you going with, Stanley?”   
  
Stan answered, “Kyle.”   
  
Silence.  _ Not _ typical.   
  
Confused of his parents behavior, Stan wondered. Shouldn't they give him permission already? Or was Kyle suddenly a kid they didn't want him to hang out with?  _ But Kyle is one of the picture-perfect kids of the school. He was kind, smart, funny, strong, basically perfect. _   
  
He frowned. That thought goes a bit unpredicted.   
  
“I thought you two were on…  _ Bad terms _ ?” his mother said softly.   
  
Stan cocked his head in confusion. She said it as if it was something to avoid talking about.   
  
“I mean, we  _ were _ in an argument last night, but we’re fine now.”   
  
“So you two are back together?”   
  
Stan frowned. “No! When were we ever  _ together _ ?”   
  
“Oh! I'm sorry, Stanley, I just assumed that you two were in a relationship!”   
  
“And you never bothered to  _ check?! _ ”   
  
“Well, Stanley, you can't blame her,” his father defended. “You two talk often, if not all the time. You and Kyle, you two are extremely close.”   
  
Stan sighed. He was so tired of this. He pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes with his head lowered in annoyance. “Mom, dad, I'm not gay, okay? Me and Kyle, we're just friends. I'm not dating him and I'm straight. Like, can you guys understand that?”   
  
His mom frowned, “Yes. How much money would you like?”   
  
_ Jackpot. _   
  
“50 or more.”   
  
His mother sighed. “Go get 60 dollars from my bag, and be  _ safe _ , Stan.”   
  
“Okay, mom.”   
  
He raced upstairs and went to his parents room. Stan snatched her purse and grabbed a stack of 60 dollars, then headed for his room. “Honey, I'm home——”   
  
Kyle sat on his bed, his head hung low and eyes shut.  _ Was he sad? _   
  
“Hey, are you okay, dude?”   
  
The boy suddenly snapped his attention to him, his green eyes searching to find Stan’s blue ones. “I‘m fine,” he said quickly.   
  
Stan frowned and said softly, “Are you sure? You can always talk about it if you want. I don't want to see you sad, Ky.” He sat beside him, his legs facing the other’s direction.   
  
The boy shrugged, “I just got bored without you.” His eyes were searching the carpet, as if it interested him more than his best friend.   
  
The thought made Stan a bit sad. He couldn't imagine a world where he didn't have Kyle.   
  
“Kyle…” Stan wanted to say more than that. So, he chose the path of soft comfort.  _ We'll talk about it later. _ He continued, “We can talk about it when you're ready. I don't mind. I want to do it, but I'll only do it when you're ready——”   
  
“That sounds gay, Stan,” Kyle said flatly.   
  
Stan couldn't help but to laugh, and with his laugh came Kyle’s wide grin. “Way to ruin the moment.”   
  
Kyle grinned, his eyes reflecting the joy he showed on his face.   
  
( _ Gay-ass narrating, too? Jeez, so cliché _ )   
  
“But, anyways, you know I'm always here to talk, though. ‘Cause I love you, bud.”   
  
“Man, you are  __ so gay.”   
  
Stan smiled. “Speaking of gay, you'll never believe what my parents think of us.”   
  


* * *

  
Stan stared at Kyle as the redhead ranted over parents being oblivious to their children’s social lives.   
  
Stan laughed as Kyle mentioned Cartman’s mother being a total whore, which had nothing to do of what they were discussing.   
  
“What does that have to do with anything?”   
  
“Not that!” Kyle scoffed, then pointed a gloved-hand to a TV, “That!” Stan looked toward the appliance, which showed——   
  
“Oh, gross, dude! Why are they showing that here?!” he looked away from the pornography that included the guy he despised’s mom sucking some dude dry. Stan wondered why the  _ Hell _ they would show that at a TV store. “Dude!” Stan looked away as his friend laughed.   
  
“Such technique,” Kyle said between fits of laughter. “I have to practice, or else I'll never compare to women like her! Look at it, Stan! Such stamina!”   
  
“Fuck you, Kyle!” Stan said, trying to hold back his breakfast.   
  
Kyle smiled, “Why do it  _ ourselves _ when we can watch  _ her _ do it?”   
  
“ _ Kyle! Not _ funny!”   
  
Kyle’s loud laugh faded to soft giggles. “Fine, fine, let's just walk past it…”   
  
Stan nodded. “Okay…”   
  
Kyle looked to him, “Sorry if that was too much, but, oh, man, that was funny.”   
  
“Thanks, now all I see is Cartman’s mom bobbing her head back and forth——” he shuddered at the thought. “Gross.”   
  
Kyle grinned, “You can learn from it. You suck at sucking.”   
  
Stan chuckled. “I’ll get better at it for you, baby.”   
  
Kyle rolled his eyes, the same smile plastered on his red face.   
  
_ Wait, why is he even red? Blushing, maybe? But at what? _   
  
Stan walked along him for the rest of the trip. That is, until they neared the pathetic carnival the two high schoolers had pathetically agreed on going to.   
  
When they did arrive, how big the fair actually managed to surprise Stan. It included rides he didn't even know existed, like some "thing that dropped from really high up", a "large swing of some sort", a bunch of concession stands, a carousel, and a Ferris Wheel, as Stan would describe it.   
  
Stan glanced to Kyle, and his beautiful green eyes kept scanning the scene, filled with wonder and excitement. It was like a picture from a movie. It was amazing and wonderful and it relieved the stress out of Stan——wait, what the  _ fuck _ did he just think?   
  
_ Stan. Stop staring. He's going to see, he's going to—— _   
  
Kyle glanced to him, and Stan quickly looked at the snow below his feet. It was melting, he noted, and remembered the times where the heat was enough for him to remove layers. Stan didn't want a repeat of that.   
  
He felt his cheeks heat up as, in the corner of his eye, Kyle didn't drop his gaze.   
  
“Hey, um, let's go, then.” Stan rang out, reaching to grab Kyle’s sleeve. He missed, and without delaying any further, he pulled his hand along instead.   
  
Kyle stumbled behind as Stan’s focus was buying tickets. The blue-eyed boy quickly entered into the empty space of rides and games and food.   
  
_ Maybe I should have gone with the chick-flick, Stan thought. The movie theater is too dark to let me see his face anyways. _

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are awesome, kudos are great, and I hope you liked it! (Probably didn't, but a person can dream, eh?)


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